Before I got a cell phone about five years ago I thought they were an unnecessary waste of time.  I would observe men calling their wives from the grocery store asking whether to get whole wheat bread or rye.  Teenagers would be gabbing away on their cells giggling about stupid trivial stuff.  I vowed that if I ever got a cell phone I wouldn’t use it for such unimportant reasons.  Now it’s me making the call from the paint store to ask my wife the color of the wallpaper.

My phone isn’t one of those fancy ones with a color screen or a camera.  It doesn’t connect to the Internet and I can’t read emails on it.  It doesn’t have fancy special order ringing tones.  I use it only for calls, but don’t know what I would do without it.

Soon after getting my cell phone my wife and I went out to a friend’s house on a Saturday evening.  We own a bed & breakfast and knew that there was a high probability that a “walk in” guest might show up wanting to rent a room that was vacant.  Prior to this we would either stay home hoping we would rent the room or go out and forgo any potential revenue.  Armed with my new cell phone I put a note on the front door stating that any potential guests should call my cell and we would immediately come over and show them the room.  A couple of hours later the phone rang and I was $100 richer.  All of a sudden I started appreciating the cell phone!

With the expansion of our real estate holdings I now use the cell phone constantly to receive calls from all over the world.  My cell isn’t just a convenience; it’s a money line.  A missed call can cost me quite a few bucks.  Furthermore, the cell phone increases productivity immensely, not just for me, but also for millions of Americans.  When snags occur in business the “connectivity” of a cell phone makes it more likely that problems can be resolved quickly.  The cell phone allows me to hold brief conversations with suppliers and customers that otherwise would have eaten up valuable time in the office.  The cell also allows me to spend more time talking to my relatives.  Often, when driving home on a lonely I-90 through western Wisconsin, I’ll call my father or brother and talk for an hour or more.

Like everything, cell phones have a “dark side”.  Along with television, X box, and I-pods, cell phones allow human beings to escape interacting with one another.  Young people, especially, who use all or most of the above items, can virtually hide from the rest of the human race.  There is a bus stop across the street from my home.  Often I’ll see twenty college students waiting for the bus, most of them on cell phones.  More often than not I’ll see two students standing within three feet of each other, completely oblivious to one another as they use their cell phones.  I wonder if this new generation, loaded with electronic distractions, has already lost the ability to carry on a conversation with a stranger.  If our newest generation loses the art of conversation it will be a shame.  Some of the richest moments in my life have been the result of engaging a complete stranger in conversation.

Another disadvantage is mixing cell phones when driving, particularly in urban environments.  I don’t know how many times I’ve had to deal with “stupid car tricks” played by drivers more interested in their cell phone than what’s happening on the road.  If I get a cell phone call when driving in a city, I’ll usually pull over before answering.  I’m not a very good at multi-tasking when it comes to cell phones and driving.

Over my lifetime there are many inventions that I thought I would never use.  Among them were; the remote control, the electric can opener, the telephone answering machine, color TV, air conditioning, cruise control, variable speed windshield wipers, the microwave oven, digital cameras, battery operated power tools, the internet, the I-Pod and, of course, the cell phone.  Now I can’t imagine life without them.

Sometimes I tell my students at the University that their children will make fun of them when they see pictures of the cell phones they had in college.  They will say to their mothers; “How did you manage to carry that big, clunky phone around with you in college Mom?  Didn’t you have an ear implant so you could talk to anyone you wanted anytime you wanted?”

I recently read an article in Chicago Magazine about friendship.  Part of that article discussed the difference between a “friend” and an “acquaintance.”  That got me thinking and became the inspiration for this week’s blog.

A friend is someone with whom you have a deep bond.  A friend is a person that you think about often.  You are willing to go to substantial lengths to meet the needs of a friend.  You think of your friends daily and often get together with them to shop, golf, or hang out.  I’ve heard people say that a friend is someone with whom you can share your deepest secrets, without worry that they will expose them to others.  During times of crisis friends are the first people you call for support.  Some say that a friend is someone with whom you can cry.    Using these descriptions of friendship, a person is fortunate to have even one friend.  Having two or three would be outstanding.

Acquaintanceship is much different.  An acquaintance is someone that you see often, speak to regularly, but do not associate with outside of the environment in which you meet.  Your acquaintances may stem from either a work or leisure setting.  Examples of acquaintances are a co-worker, the guy that runs the local newsstand, or the waitress at a local restaurant.  Acquaintances know each other on a first name basis and often have a fair amount of knowledge about each other’s families, jobs, and lifestyles, yet they are not friends.  You could say that the acquaintance relationship is a lot more “shallow” than the relationship you have with a friend, but acquaintances are incredibly important and integral to a happy life.

I think that the value of acquaintance is vastly underestimated.  My acquaintances run close to a hundred people, my friends perhaps one or two.  I really miss my acquaintances on holidays, like Christmas or Thanksgiving.  Those are family days in which the normal flow of activity is interrupted, so you don’t see the gal at the post office, or the custodian at the workplace.  I miss the friendly conversation, the short joke, or the simple “Hi, how are you doing.”  These greetings and conversations become part of the fabric of my day.

The other reason that people value acquaintanceship is that, unlike friendship, it comes with virtually no burdens or responsibilities.  Friendships, on the other hand, are wonderful but obligatory.  They require a lot of time and must be constantly maintained.  You must think often about what would please your friend and try to do the things that will make him or her happy.  You must be careful not to offend your friend.  If a friend has problems you must be ready to spend the time and effort to help him through difficult times.  In other words, friendships are work!

This isn’t true with acquaintances.  Acquaintances give each other a tiny bit of pleasure each day, but require virtually no maintenance.  If an acquaintance is in the hospital you may visit and bring a card.  You don’t have to make sure his dog is walked and his credit card bill is paid on time.  The busier you are, the more sense acquaintances make.  Friends require time; acquaintances do not.

Acquaintances also give us something else that is refreshing in life, variety.  It is easy to have an acquaintance in a different socio-economic level, with a different sexual orientation, or with a vastly different political view.  Friends tend to be more homogeneous.   There is older fellow in my neighborhood that comes by once in a while on his bicycle, collecting aluminum cans.  I save my cans, just for him.  He isn’t in my socio-economic category and I don’t know anything about his politics but he is friendly and grateful for the cans.  We’ll talk about the weather and other trivial stuff as I help him load the cans on his bicycle.  He says goodbye and peddles down the alley.  It is an enjoyable experience for me and I think also for him.  The alley, the bike, the cans…this is a setting in which we can relate to each other.  There is probably no other venue in which we would enjoy each other’s company.

Many people have a hard time adjusting when they retire from their jobs.  Sometimes they even pass away soon after retiring.  It isn’t their family or friends that they miss when they retire; they miss their acquaintances!  Without really thinking about it, we go through our lives constantly buoyed up by our acquaintances.  Acquaintanceship is extremely important to all of us.  Long live acquaintanceship!

It seems that the Republican Party wants a new amendment to the U.S. constitution, whether it be a heterosexual marriage amendment, a keep Teri Shiavo alive forever amendment, or a non-desecration of the American flag amendment.  Actually, what they are most interested in is something to make themselves look good for the upcoming congressional elections.

I hate to say this, but there isn’t a lot that is “good” about today’s Republicans.  As a person who has voted republican often, I’ve come to the conclusion that Republicans have lost their way.  I remember when we could count on Republicans to run lower annual deficits than democrats and to run up the national debt more slowly than democrats.  Neither party could put an end to the growth of big government, but we can’t even count on Republicans to grow government more slowly than democrats.  What kind of a world is it when Democrats are the fiscal conservatives?  Are their snowballs in hell?  Apparently so!

Since we can’t count on Republicans to limit government spending, there is no reason to vote for them at all.  Their stand on civil liberties is repugnant at best.  As a sovereign being I want to be able to determine when my life is no longer worth living.  If I’m terminally ill and in pain, I want my children to have the right to end my life humanely, just like we would for our beloved pets.  I don’t want the Republicans involved in this decision.  I don’t need them to humanely deprive me of food and water until my body shuts down.  We wouldn’t even do that for our dogs.

As far as gay rights are concerned, it is time for Republicans to finally admit that gayness is not learned or the result of some kind of sin.  Gay people have existed since the beginning of time.  Christ undoubtedly knew gays, although they might have been forced to remain “in the closet.”  There will be a time, perhaps 50 years from now, when we will look back at the struggle for gay rights in the United States and parallel it with the efforts for civil rights in the 1960’s.  Meanwhile an entire class of citizens will experience undeserved ridicule and discrimination.  This is unfortunate.

Last, we do not need an amendment to the U.S. Constitution to ban the burning of the American flag.  I love the flag, especially as it commemorates the struggle for our independence and the sacrifices of our Veterans in all wars.  Several times a month I approach a Veteran and tell him or her that I appreciate the sacrifice that they have made for our country and me.  If I saw someone trying to burn a flag I would attempt to prevent that act, even at the risk of personal injury.  They would know in no uncertain terms from me that burning the flag is flat-out NOT ACCEPTABLE.  However, to put them in prison for the act of flag burning would desecrate the flag as well, by denying them the right of protest, no matter how repugnant.

The Republican Party has lost its way.  Just as radical Arabs blindly support the positions of their religious mullahs, The Republican Party blindly supports the radical positions of their religious Mullahs, the Radical Christian Right.  The result is a loss of personal freedom for Americans and a country that is less free than it could be.

Summer is Susan Johnson’s favorite season. In spite of the fact that she’s carting the kids all over town for soccer, baseball, and piano lessons, she finds plenty of time to play golf. This summer she is playing nearly every day with the local pro, Bill Haley. They often go out at daybreak when Bill has a little extra time. Susan pays for two lessons a week but Bill spends at least three more days with her at no extra charge.

They’ve been lovers for nearly nine months, sparked by that early morning incident in the pro shop back in October (Episode 8 October 23, 2005). At first she just couldn’t believe that she was an adulteress. It wasn’t part of her plan, nor was it morally right. She thought of what it would do to her children, her husband, her parents and her friends if this were ever revealed, but the lure of Bill’s charms made the risk seem worthwhile. Because of their mutual insistence on discretion, they haven’t had many opportunities to make love, but the few times that it has happened the sparks have really flown.

Susan can’t believe that she is 36 years old and feels like a teenager. When she goes to bed she thinks of Bill. He is the first thing on her mind when she awakens each morning. She dreams about him every night. So far Craig has no clue. She knows that all of this is pure foolishness on her part, but it’s just too good to let go. She wonders what the “end game” will be like. Will someone find out about their secret or will no one ever find out? Will he find someone else? Will she get tired of him like she did with Craig?

Working in the pro shop for the summer months is Smita Patel (Episode 13, February 19, 2006). She isn’t a golfer, but her pleasant personality and infectious accent is a hit with the country-club duffers. Unlike the pimply-faced teenagers who usually work at the shop in the summers, 22-year old Smita is respectful and even gracious around the customers. When Bill asks her to do something, she does it cheerfully and speedily. If she doesn’t understand something she asks him what to do. Once told how to do something, she doesn’t have to be told again; she performs the task perfectly. Smita’s efficiency gives Bill more time for lessons on the course, especially with his favorite client, Susan Johnson.

Last evening when Smita and her husband Sachin were preparing rice and dahl for their evening meal, Smita mentioned that Bill spends a lot of time with Susan. Sachin was curious. He wondered how Susan’s husband could let her spend nearly every morning out golfing with another man. “Strange culture”, he thought, “when a man will let his wife go off every morning to spend time with another gentleman.” Both relatively devout Hindus, it didn’t occur to either of them that Bill and Susan Johnson’s relationship could be about anything but golf.

One of Smita’s duties is to prepare Bill’s golf bag before he goes out for his next lesson. She wipes off the clubs, stocks the bag with new balls and tees and otherwise readies his equipment for the next lesson. One afternoon, after Bill’s last golf lesson of the day, Smita found a packaged condom with Bill’s golf tees. Embarrassed, she left it in the bag with the tees, hoping it would go away as soon as possible. At daybreak the next morning Bill went out golfing with Susan. They returned around 6:15 a.m., just as Smita was coming to work. Bill had to meet with some property developers at 6:30 a.m. and was in a rush. He pushed the bag in the door and asked Smita to make sure it was ready for his 9:00 lesson. She inspected the clubs, put in a couple of new balls and checked the golf tee pocket. The condom was missing.

The strange disappearance of the birth control device was the subject of Smita and Sachin’s dinner the next evening. Sachin thought that perhaps Haley might have thrown it away or lost it during the round. Smita thought: “Where would Mr. Haley use a condom between 5 and 6 in the morning giving a golf lesson to Susan Johnson?”Summer is Susan Johnson’s favorite season. In spite of the fact that she’s carting the kids all over town for soccer, baseball, and piano lessons, she finds plenty of time to play golf. This summer she is playing nearly every day with the local pro, Bill Haley. They often go out at daybreak when Bill has a little extra time. Susan pays for two lessons a week but Bill spends at least three more days with her at no extra charge.

They’ve been lovers for nearly nine months, sparked by that early morning incident in the pro shop back in October (Episode 8 October 23, 2005). At first she just couldn’t believe that she was an adulteress. It wasn’t part of her plan, nor was it morally right. She thought of what it would do to her children, her husband, her parents and her friends if this were ever revealed, but the lure of Bill’s charms made the risk seem worthwhile. Because of their mutual insistence on discretion, they haven’t had many opportunities to make love, but the few times that it has happened the sparks have really flown.

Susan can’t believe that she is 36 years old and feels like a teenager. When she goes to bed she thinks of Bill. He is the first thing on her mind when she awakens each morning. She dreams about him every night. So far Craig has no clue. She knows that all of this is pure foolishness on her part, but it’s just too good to let go. She wonders what the “end game” will be like. Will someone find out about their secret or will no one ever find out? Will he find someone else? Will she get tired of him like she did with Craig?

Working in the pro shop for the summer months is Smita Patel (Episode 13, February 19, 2006). She isn’t a golfer, but her pleasant personality and infectious accent is a hit with the country-club duffers. Unlike the pimply-faced teenagers who usually work at the shop in the summers, 22-year old Smita is respectful and even gracious around the customers. When Bill asks her to do something, she does it cheerfully and speedily. If she doesn’t understand something she asks him what to do. Once told how to do something, she doesn’t have to be told again; she performs the task perfectly. Smita’s efficiency gives Bill more time for lessons on the course, especially with his favorite client, Susan Johnson.

Last evening when Smita and her husband Sachin were preparing rice and dahl for their evening meal, Smita mentioned that Bill spends a lot of time with Susan. Sachin was curious. He wondered how Susan’s husband could let her spend nearly every morning out golfing with another man. “Strange culture”, he thought, “when a man will let his wife go off every morning to spend time with another gentleman.” Both relatively devout Hindus, it didn’t occur to either of them that Bill and Susan Johnson’s relationship could be about anything but golf.

One of Smita’s duties is to prepare Bill’s golf bag before he goes out for his next lesson. She wipes off the clubs, stocks the bag with new balls and tees and otherwise readies his equipment for the next lesson. One afternoon, after Bill’s last golf lesson of the day, Smita found a packaged condom with Bill’s golf tees. Embarrassed, she left it in the bag with the tees, hoping it would go away as soon as possible. At daybreak the next morning Bill went out golfing with Susan. They returned around 6:15 a.m., just as Smita was coming to work. Bill had to meet with some property developers at 6:30 a.m. and was in a rush. He pushed the bag in the door and asked Smita to make sure it was ready for his 9:00 lesson. She inspected the clubs, put in a couple of new balls and checked the golf tee pocket. The condom was missing.

The strange disappearance of the birth control device was the subject of Smita and Sachin’s dinner the next evening. Sachin thought that perhaps Haley might have thrown it away or lost it during the round. Smita thought: “Where would Mr. Haley use a condom between 5 and 6 in the morning giving a golf lesson to Susan Johnson?”

Please accept my apologies for posting this blog two days late.  I could go on in detail about the computer problems I experienced this week, but you don’t want to hear it and I don’t want to explain it!

I pen this blog on the morning of July 4, 2006.  This is an important day for Americans and almost nobody else, but it is the day we celebrate the birth of our country and our independence from Great Britain.  Every nation has a birthday and July 4th is ours!

During my lifetime I’ve often looked at international news on television and newspapers and said to myself, “Boy am I happy that I was born in the United States of America.”  There are millions who suffered under the torture of Pol Pot and his Khmer Rouge in Cambodia.  Thousands of people continue to be slaughtered presently in Darfur’s sectarian violence.  Today 1,200,000,000 Chinese citizens enjoy vastly improved economic conditions but are not politically free to speak their minds.  Based on what I see in the rest of the world it is not difficult for me to be thankful for the blessing of being born in the United States of America.  That fact alone gives me a “leg up” on most of the world’s citizens.

I’ve also had the privilege of being able to travel and to meet here in my hometown many wonderful people from places like China, India, Mongolia, and the Middle East.  I count some of them as close friends and communicate with them weekly.  While they love their home countries, many of them have acknowledged that it is truly a blessing to be a citizen of the United States.  In fact, some of them continue on their path to become legal, permanent residents in the United States.  In their presence I never express my pleasure about being born in the United States.  After all, I did nothing exemplary to deserve such a fate and they did nothing wrong to be born in another country.  Why was I born here and they were born somewhere else?

I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I don’t know exactly how the Lord does things, but let me offer my theory for your consideration.  Before a person is born, the Lord spins three “birth wheels”.  These are like the big wheel on “The price is right”.  The first wheel is the “country of birth” wheel with the names of various countries in the world.  The second wheel is the “parental prosperity” wheel, which determines the financial resources of your parents.  The third wheel is the “parental responsibility and love” wheel, which determines how much your parents (independent of financial means) love you, nurture you, and care for you.

All three wheels are very important.  The country wheel is important, but doesn’t guarantee happiness.  For example, you could be born in the United States, the child of a single mother who is a crack addict.  You have done real well on the “country” wheel, but lost out big time on the “parental prosperity” and “parental responsibility and love” wheels.

The “parental prosperity” wheel doesn’t guarantee happiness either.  You could be born in the United States to rich parents who have no time for you and care only about their country club memberships and business meetings.  Despite the fact that you have all of the material possessions you desire, this won’t bring happiness.  You might end up depressed and lonely.

I believe that of all the wheels, the “parental responsibility and love” wheel is the most important.  For example, you could be born in India or China to loving and caring parents of limited means that will do anything in their power to bring you happiness.  They will nurture you, love you, and encourage you to get a good education.  Guess what?  You’re probably going to live a reasonably happy life.  One thing for sure; you’re going to have a lot happier life than the crack baby or spoiled rich kid growing up in the United States.

Even though the “parental responsibility and love” wheel is the most important, this will not help if you get an incredibly bad spin on the “country” wheel.  You can be sure that many of the parents of Kurdish children gassed by Saddam Hussein loved their children as much or more than you love yours.  It didn’t help.  They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

On this Fourth of July, 2006 I am grateful that I got a good spin on the country wheel.  However, far from putting me in a position to gloat, that place on the country wheel gives me the humble responsibility to make the best of the freedoms and opportunities that are available to me.  To do less than that, in this United States of America, is an unpardonable sin.